You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
