i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
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I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
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I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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