I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
