So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
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