I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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