So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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