Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize