Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize