So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
