Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
