Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
