oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
