ADVERTISEMENT

• (520): View more from Arizona

  If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.

  Fav 59 5506 1105

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month

  Fav 4 2308 876

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  I like taco bell too

  Fav 9 4346 1056

  share tweet
  

• (804): View more from Virginia

  If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..

  Fav 3 1260 3863

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this

  Fav 27 1386 8514

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.

  Fav 22 9085 1646

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (716): View more from New York

  My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.

  Fav 4 4230 979

  share tweet
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"

  Fav 3 2990 1057

  share tweet
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.

  Fav 14 4399 1210

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.

  Fav 8 3137 1791

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.

  (972): View more from Texas

  Wine is not your friend.

  Fav 7 919 1689

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians

  Fav 8 1533 780

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.

  Fav 5 628 519

  share tweet
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos

  Fav 1 335 199

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (808): View more from Hawaii

  i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in

  Fav 0 242 275

  share tweet
  

Randomize