Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded

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(910): View more from North Carolina

So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon

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(904): View more from Florida

So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(248): View more from Michigan

ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year

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(+62): View more from

This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.

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(248): View more from Michigan

your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.

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(970): View more from Colorado

he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...

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(419): View more from Ohio

I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.

(516): View more from New York

Welcome to my everyday.

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