I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
being pregnant is like rehab
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
