Non-Jews are for practice
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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