are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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