Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize