Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
