If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Randomize
