Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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