Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
