my phone needs a breathalizer
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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