woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
