I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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