what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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