I have demons in me.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
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I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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