It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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