Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
