that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
