He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I intend to get homeless drunk
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
