used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Drunk is not a location!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
