I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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