my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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