plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
