so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
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I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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