mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
