How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
