Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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