im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
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I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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