I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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