So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
