I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
