Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
