Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
