I didn't shave. On purpose
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
