I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
