just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
