Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
