Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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