Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
