He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
