I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
