Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
