someone get that fucking seahorse.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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