So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize