worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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