so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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