he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
