I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
