I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
