you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
it's like heaven, but drunker
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
